The Day I Gave Up – Afterthoughts

When I wrote in my last post about my experience of finally giving up – not hope, but the struggle to do things my way – I can imagine some readers wondering if that was, in fact, the moment when I became a true follower of Christ…when I was saved from eternal separation from God.

In all honesty, I have had the same thought numerous times myself, even down through the years since then.   However, I do know this:  At the moment of yielding the situation to the Lord and trusting Him with the outcome, whatever it was going to be, I felt a great release from my apprehensions and the enormous pressure on me to try to regain control of my future. 

I remember going downstairs to tell my parents the news.   They became extremely upset and even wanted to call their congressman.  I was totally calm and assured them that it would be OK, that the Lord was in charge and would work things out.  It was completely out of the norm for me to react in this way.

Another thing that changed was my attitude toward the Bible.   Not that I didn’t know I should read it or that I didn’t have respect for or believe it, but it just was not something I had a compelling desire to read and study.  Thanks to one of my housemates in grad school, I had already been attending a church where the Scriptures were being taught with amazing clarity and practical application.  I realized later how God had been using this to prepare me for a change. 

After my “giving up” experience, I began to read the Bible as a fresh new book and found it to be full of life for me.  I looked forward to reading and studying the Word every day from then on.

While this experience was the first crisis of its kind that I had ever faced, it was by no means the last.   During my years of walking with the Lord there have been several involving key life areas, including finding my life mate, job issues and, most recently, my own health. 

As I related in an early post, when I received the news that my test results indicated a 91% likelihood of lung cancer, I was not shaken but calm and prepared to face the next steps.  I had already given my health issue to the Lord and knew I could trust Him in this situation the same as in all the other challenges of the past.

As to whether my first crisis was the time of my personal salvation, I will have to wait until I see Jesus to find out.   I grew up in a Bible-influenced home, joined the church I had attended from infancy and believed that Jesus had died for my sins as long as I can remember.  But, whether I had only believed in the same way one believes that George Washington became the first President of the United States or I had truly trusted Him from the heart, I cannot say.  The truth is that it really doesn’t matter now.  I know where I am today.

To anyone reading this who cannot identify the exact day you trusted your life and your eternity into Jesus’ hands, but you know you are trusting Him now, I say, “Don’t worry about it!”   If you want to have a date for it, then let it be today.  But if you’re still struggling to control your future and to make your plans work, I say, “Give up!  Give it over to the one who holds the future and desires to give you the best outcome.”

…if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved; -- Romans 10:9