How To Love Your Wife

With Easter only a month away I have been thinking about the close comparison that the Apostle Paul makes between the husband-wife relationship and the Christ-Church relationship.  In his epistle to the Ephesians (5:22ff) he exhorts husbands to love their wives in the same way that Jesus demonstrated his love for the Church in giving Himself up for her.  While most men probably would heroically give up their own lives to save their wives', this does not seem to be the main point of Paul’s teaching. 


In the passage he discusses the fact that we husbands nourish and cherish our own bodies, indicating an ongoing process, a lifestyle, and that we should love our wives in the same way we do ourselves.  Again, he compares this to Christ as our example who continually loves the Church in the same way.  And just to be sure we understand that he is thinking about us as individuals and not just the Church in some abstract sense, he adds, “because we are members of His body (the Church).”

So then, we have two great examples to follow:  foremost is Christ who both gave Himself up for us and who now continues to nourish and cherish us, and we have our own manner of loving ourselves that we are to apply to our wives as well. 

Jesus loved to teach in parables, some that He even appeared to have acted out.  They had a dual purpose in that they became great teaching tools to illustrate abstract ideas or principles to those who listened with believing hearts.  Yet, at the same time to those who were antagonistic and unbelieving, they became riddles that made no sense. 

If you may have read in my post, “Patterns,” some time ago, you know it is my firm belief that God has intentionally created earthly versions of heavenly things as object lessons to teach us spiritual realities.  Thus, the parallel between the marriage relationship and Christ’s relationship to the Church is no mere coincidence.

In our local church where Sherril and I attend we are particularly blessed by having a living illustration of a marriage that exemplifies the kind of self-giving relationship that Paul is talking about.  One of the ministerial staff members has a wife with MS.  He is totally devoted to her and gives her care his top priority.  She contracted the disease just a few years after their marriage and it has grown steadily worse over time.  She is now totally wheelchair-bound and needs help to do almost everything.  They just celebrated their 25th anniversary this past week and renewed their vows in a moving ceremony.  I have never met a more humble and godly church leader than this man. 

I also think of another amazing illustration, well known within the Christian community nationwide.  This man’s wife contracted slowly progressing Alzheimer’s disease at a relatively young age.  It lasted for 17 years.  During that time he had become president of a Christian university.  However, as his wife’s condition steadily deteriorated and she required continual care, he made the decision to resign from his post, although enjoying a very fruitful ministry.  He believed his first priority was his care for her, taking precedence over his career, even in Christian service.

So then, we see the wonder and wisdom in God’s ways of teaching us important truth.  First, He gives us the example of Christ to show us how husbands should treat their wives.  Then, He provides living examples of husbands demonstrating that kind of love to give us an earthly picture of how deep and how great is His love for us!  Amazing!

To God be the glory!