It’s More Than I Can Handle

Recently, I was asked to take on a new responsibility that I was not expecting.  Since my illness, life in general has been much slower than before.  Working around frequent naps, scheduled therapy and just plain fatigue, I find my productive hours are often limited to around four or five a day. 

Inwardly, my immediate reaction was just to say no.  How can I take on more when I feel that I’m barely keeping up with essential things, as it is?  But then I thought, “What if this is something the Lord wants me to do?”  So I took the quick, non-committal route and said, “Let me pray about it.” 

After a few days, I had not received any flash of revelation or inspiration about accepting the request, but neither did I find any real reason for saying no, except for my limitations.  Turning down the request was all the harder because I had just a few months earlier made the suggestion that the very thing should be done that I was now being asked to do!  With a big caveat that I would do my best considering my physical condition, I accepted the responsibility.  Not exactly a high point in my faith walk.

This week, in my continuing studies of the life of Christ in the Gospel according to Mark, I meditated further on the story of Jesus’ feeding of the five thousand found in Chapter 6.  At this stage of Jesus’ ministry He had begun to train His disciples by delegating responsibilities to them.  He had already sent them out in pairs, having commissioned them to preach, heal the sick and cast out demons.  They, in turn, had reported back the amazing results that they had witnessed.

A little later, Jesus was teaching a multitude of those who had followed Him to a deserted area by the sea.  The disciples saw a need – the people were hungry and it was getting late – and they asked Jesus to send them away to buy food.  But Jesus had compassion on the crowd and said, “You give them something to eat.”  Did he want them to use what money they had and try to go buy enough for such a large number of people (5,000 men, plus women and children)?  No.  Instead, He asked them to go check to see how much they had…five loaves and two fish.

Jesus then had the people sit down in groups of fifty and a hundred, blessed the food and began breaking it and distributing it to the disciples to serve the people.  Everyone ate and was satisfied and twelve baskets of leftover fragments were collected.
 

The more I thought about this story, the more I realized that the Lord had a lesson for me in it.  Just as the disciples pointed out a need, this is what I had done.  His response to them was, “You take care of it.”  Similarly, I was being asked to “take care of” the need I had seen.  Were they supposed to go out and try to do something heroic to get the food that was needed?  No, they were just told to see what they had and use that.  They checked, and then put what they found into His hands. 

I realized that was exactly what He wanted me to do:  Just use the resources I already had (not what I didn’t have) by trusting them into His hands to bless and multiply them for His purposes.  Of course, Jesus had the disciples participate in the distribution and cleanup processes, just as He expects me to be fully engaged in carrying out my new responsibilities.  Oh, and did you notice that the disciples, in addition to sharing in the joy of participating with Jesus in working of a great miracle, were also blessed with their own food supply for the next several days!

But this was also a clear test of faith for the disciples.  In a sense they were putting their reputations on the line as partners in the event.  If it didn’t work out, they would also be discredited and rejected by this multitude of followers, now turned into an angry mob.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation of total inadequacy when you were asked to meet a need that was obvious to you?  If so, how did you respond?  Hopefully, you had the opportunity to trust your tiny contribution into God’s hands and see Him multiply it through you many fold.  If not, the time will undoubtedly come, as it seems to be part of the training program He has for us as His disciples and one that He repeats often.  To Him be the glory!

 But He said, “The things impossible with men are possible with God.” – Luke 18:27