Why me, Lord?

Sometimes I have to remind myself of what I have been through to appreciate the extent of my recovery so far and to thank God every day for His gift of life to me.  In fact, it wasn’t until this past week that I realized that Sherril had kept a journal of those dark days in November.  I’m so thankful that she did. 

Because I remember only a few brief events during my first 10 days in intensive care, reading her journal has helped me to piece together a clearer picture of my near-death experience.  Three major surgeries in three days, massive blood loss, several transfusions, severe dehydration, atrial fibrillation, critically low oxygen level and drug induced paralysis all added insult after insult to my weakening condition.

Truly, it was a miracle of God’s grace and power that I pulled through all that with no apparent long term consequences, except for the reduced lung capacity that I expected.  I remember someone in the hospital saying that any one of those events could have potentially been fatal or the cause of permanent heart or brain damage.

I have to ask the question, “Why me, Lord?”  Why did He choose to spare me, yet others with great faith and also with many people earnestly praying for them are taken?  I simply do not know, but an all-wise and trustworthy God does.  I do know that He does not waste anything and will use this experience for good.  In His wisdom I was chosen for affliction to learn to know Him better and to be able to help others with that knowledge of Him.  I look forward to seeing Him do that.

 
It is good for me that I was afflicted that I may learn Your statutes. Ps. 119:71